“Everyday Use” by Alice Walker
I will wait for her in the yard that Maggie and I made so clean and wavy
yesterday afternoon. A yard like this is more comfortable than most people know. It is not just a yard. It is like an extended
living room. When the hard clay is swept clean as a floor and the fine sand around the edges lined with tiny, irregular grooves,
anyone can come and sit and look up into the elm tree and wait for the breezes that never come inside the house.
Maggie will be nervous until after her sister goes: she will stand hopelessly
in corners, homely and ashamed of the burn scars down her arms and legs, eying her sister with a mixture of envy and awe.
She thinks her sister has held life always in the palm of one hand, that "no" is a word the world never learned to say to
You've no doubt seen those TV shows where the child who has "made it"
is confronted, as a surprise, by her own mother and father, tottering in weakly from backstage. (A pleasant surprise, of course:
What would they do if parent and child came on the show only to curse out and insult each other?) On TV mother and child embrace
and smile into each other's faces. Sometimes the mother and father weep, the child wraps them in her arms and leans across
the table to tell how she would not have made it without their help. I have seen these programs.
Sometimes I dream a dream in which Dee and I are suddenly brought together
on a TV program of this sort. Out of a dark and soft seated limousine I am ushered into a bright room filled with many people.
There I meet a smiling, gray, sporty man like Johnny Carson who shakes my hand and tells me what a fine girl I have. Then
we are on the stage and Dee is embracing me with tears in her eyes. She pins on my dress a large orchid, even though she has
told me once that she thinks orchids are tacky flowers.
In real life I am a large, big boned woman with rough, man working hands.
In the winter I wear flannel nightgowns to bed and overalls during the day. I can kill and clean a hog as mercilessly as a
man. My fat keeps me hot in zero weather. I can work outside all day, breaking ice to get water for washing; I can eat pork
liver cooked over the open fire minutes after it comes steaming from the hog. One winter I knocked a bull calf straight in
the brain between the eyes with a sledge hammer and had the meat hung up to chill before nightfall. But of course all this
does not show on television. I am the way my daughter would want me to be: a hundred pounds lighter, my skin like an uncooked
barley pancake. My hair glistens in the hot bright lights. Johnny Carson has much to do to keep up with my quick and witty
But that is a mistake. I know even before I wake up. Who ever knew a
Johnson with a quick tongue? Who can even imagine me looking a strange white man in the eye? It seems to me I have talked
to them always with one foot raised in flight, with my head fumed in whichever way is farthest from them. Dee, though. She
would always look anyone in the eye. Hesitation was no part of her nature.
"How do I look, Mama?" Maggie says, showing just enough of her thin body
enveloped in pink skirt and red blouse for me to know she's there, almost hidden by the door.
"Come out into the yard," I say.
Have you ever seen a lame animal, perhaps a dog run over by some careless
person rich enough to own a car, sidle up to someone who is ignorant enough to be kind to him? That is the way my Maggie walks.
She has been like this, chin on chest, eyes on ground, feet in shuffle, ever since the fire that burned the other house to
Dee is lighter than Maggie, with nicer hair and a fuller figure. She's
a woman now, though sometimes I forget. How long ago was it that the other house burned? Ten, twelve years? Sometimes I can
still hear the flames and feel Maggie's arms sticking to me, her hair smoking and her dress falling off her in little black
papery flakes. Her eyes seemed stretched open, blazed open by the flames reflected in them. And Dee. I see her standing off
under the sweet gum tree she used to dig gum out of; a look of concentration on her face as she watched the last dingy gray
board of the house fall in toward the red hot brick chimney. Why don't you do a dance around the ashes? I'd wanted to ask
her. She had hated the house that much.
I used to think she hated Maggie, too. But that was before we raised
money, the church and me, to send her to Augusta to school. She used to read to us without pity; forcing words, lies, other
folks' habits, whole lives upon us two, sitting trapped and ignorant underneath her voice. She washed us in a river of make-believe,
burned us with a lot of knowledge we didn't necessarily need to know. Pressed us to her with the serious way she read, to
shove us away at just the moment, like dimwits, we seemed about to understand.
Dee wanted nice things. A yellow organdy dress to wear to her graduation
from high school; black pumps to match a green suit she'd made from an old suit somebody gave me. She was determined to stare
down any disaster in her efforts. Her eyelids would not flicker for minutes at a time. Often I fought off the temptation to
shake her. At sixteen she had a style of her own: and knew what style was.
I never had an education myself. After second grade the school was closed
down. Don't ask my why: in 1927 colored asked fewer questions than they do now. Sometimes Maggie reads to me. She stumbles
along good-naturedly but can't see well. She knows she is not bright. Like good looks and money, quickness passes her by.
She will marry John Thomas (who has mossy teeth in an earnest face) and then I'll be free to sit here and I guess just sing
church songs to myself. Although I never was a good singer. Never could carry a tune. I was always better at a man's job.
I used to love to milk till I was hooked in the side in '49. Cows are soothing and slow and don't bother you, unless you try
to milk them the wrong way.
I have deliberately turned my back on the house. It is three rooms, just
like the one that burned, except the roof is tin; they don't make shingle roofs any more. There are no real windows, just
some holes cut in the sides, like the portholes in a ship, but not round and not square, with rawhide holding the shutters
up on the outside. This house is in a pasture, too, like the other one. No doubt when Dee sees it she will want to tear it
down. She wrote me once that no matter where we "choose" to live, she will manage to come see us. But she will never bring
her friends. Maggie and I thought about this and Maggie asked me, "Mama, when did Dee ever have any friends?"
She had a few. Furtive boys
in pink shirts hanging about on washday after school. Nervous girls who never laughed. Impressed with her they worshiped the
well-turned phrase, the cute shape, the scalding humor that erupted like bubbles in lye. She read to them.
When she was courting Jimmy T she didn't have much time to pay to us,
but turned all her faultfinding power on him. He flew to marry a cheap city girl from a family of ignorant flashy people.
She hardly had time to recompose herself.
When she comes I will meet—but there they are!
Maggie attempts to make a dash for the house, in her shuffling way, but
I stay her with my hand. "Come back here, " I say. And she stops and tries to dig a well in the sand with her toe.
It is hard to see them clearly through the strong sun. But even the first
glimpse of leg out of the car tells me it is Dee. Her feet were always neat looking, as if God himself had shaped them with
a certain style. From the other side of the car comes a short, stocky man. Hair is all over his head a foot long and hanging
from his chin like a kinky mule tail. I hear Maggie suck in her breath. "Uhnnnh, " is what it sounds like. Like when you see
the wriggling end of a snake just in front of your foot on the road. "Uhnnnh."
Dee next. A dress down to the ground, in this hot weather. A dress so
loud it hurts my eyes. There are yellows and oranges enough to throw back the light of the sun. I feel my whole face warming
from the heat waves it throws out. Earrings gold, too, and hanging down to her shoulders. Bracelets dangling and making noises
when she moves her arm up to shake the folds of the dress out of her armpits. The dress is loose and flows, and as she walks
closer, I like it. I hear Maggie go "Uhnnnh" again. It is her sister's hair. It stands straight up like the wool on a sheep.
It is black as night and around the edges are two long pigtails that rope about like small lizards disappearing behind her
"Wa-su-zo-Tean-o!" she says, coming on in that gliding way the dress
makes her move. The short stocky fellow with the hair to his navel is all grinning and he follows up with "Asalamalakim, my
mother and sister!" He moves to hug Maggie but she falls back, right up against the back of my chair. I feel her trembling
there and when I look up I see the perspiration falling off her chin.
"Don't get up," says Dee. Since I am stout it takes something of a push.
You can see me trying to move a second or two before I make it. She turns, showing white heels through her sandals, and goes
back to the car. Out she peeks next with a Polaroid. She stoops down quickly and lines up picture after picture of me sitting
there in front of the house with Maggie cowering behind me. She never takes a shot without making sure the house is included.
When a cow comes nibbling around the edge of the yard she snaps it and me and Maggie and the house. Then she puts the Polaroid
in the back seat of the car, and comes up and kisses me on the forehead.
Meanwhile Asalamalakim is going through motions with Maggie's hand. Maggie's
hand is as limp as a fish, and probably as cold, despite the sweat, and she keeps trying to pull it back. It looks like Asalamalakim
wants to shake hands but wants to do it fancy. Or maybe he don't know how people shake hands. Anyhow, he soon gives up on
"Well," I say. "Dee."
"No, Mama," she says. "Not 'Dee,' Wangero Leewanika Kemanjo!"
"What happened to 'Dee'?" I wanted to know.
"She's dead," Wangero said. "I couldn't bear it any longer, being named
after the people who oppress me."
"You know as well as me you was named after your aunt Dicie," I said.
Dicie is my sister. She named Dee. We called her "Big Dee" after Dee was born.
"But who was she named after?" asked Wangero.
"I guess after Grandma Dee," I said.
"And who was she named after?" asked Wangero.
"Her mother," I said, and saw Wangero was getting tired. "That's about
as far back as I can trace it," I said. Though, in fact, I probably could have carried it back beyond the Civil War through
"Well," said Asalamalakim, "there you are."
"Uhnnnh," I heard Maggie say.
"There I was not," I said, "before 'Dicie' cropped up in our family,
so why should I try to trace it that far back?"
He just stood there grinning, looking down on me like somebody inspecting
a Model A car. Every once in a while he and Wangero sent eye signals over my head.
"How do you pronounce this name?" I asked.
"You don't have to call me by it if you don't want to," said Wangero.
"Why shouldn't 1?" I asked. "If that's what you want us to call you,
we'll call you."
"I know it might sound awkward at first," said Wangero.
"I'll get used to it," I said. "Ream it out again."
Well, soon we got the name out of the way. Asalamalakim had a name twice
as long and three times as hard. After I tripped over it two or three times he told me to just call him Hakim-a-barber. I
wanted to ask him was he a barber, but I didn't really think he was, so I didn't ask.
"You must belong to those beef-cattle peoples down the road," I said.
They said "Asalamalakim" when they met you, too, but they didn't shake hands. Always too busy: feeding the cattle, fixing
the fences, putting up salt lick shelters, throwing down hay. When the white folks poisoned some of the herd the men stayed
up all night with rifles in their hands. I walked a mile and a half just to see the sight.
Hakim-a-barber said, "I accept some of their doctrines, but farming and
raising cattle is not my style." (They didn't tell me, and I didn't ask, whether Wangero (Dee) had really gone and married
We sat down to eat and right away he said he didn't eat collards and
pork was unclean. Wangero, though, went on through the chitlins and corn bread, the greens and everything else. She talked
a blue streak over the sweet potatoes. Everything delighted her. Even the fact that we still used the benches her daddy made
for the table when we couldn't effort to buy chairs.
"Oh, Mama!" she cried. Then turned to Hakim-a-barber. "I never knew how
lovely these benches are. You can feel the rump prints," she said, running her hands underneath her and along the bench. Then
she gave a sigh and her hand closed over Grandma Dee's butter dish. "That's it!" she said. "I knew there was something I wanted
to ask you if I could have." She jumped up from the table and went over in the corner where the churn stood, the milk in it
crabber by now. She looked at the churn and looked at it.
"This churn top is what I need," she said. "Didn't Uncle Buddy whittle
it out of a tree you all used to have?"
"Yes," I said.
"Un huh," she said happily. "And I want the dasher, too."
"Uncle Buddy whittle that, too?" asked the barber.
Dee (Wangero) looked up at me.
"Aunt Dee's first husband whittled the dash," said Maggie so low you
almost couldn't hear her. "His name was Henry, but they called him Stash."
"Maggie's brain is like an elephant's," Wangero said, laughing. "I can
use the chute top as a centerpiece for the alcove table," she said, sliding a plate over the chute, "and I'll think of something
artistic to do with the dasher."
When she finished wrapping the dasher the handle stuck out. I took it
for a moment in my hands. You didn't even have to look close to see where hands pushing the dasher up and down to make butter
had left a kind of sink in the wood. In fact, there were a lot of small sinks; you could see where thumbs and fingers had
sunk into the wood. It was beautiful light yellow wood, from a tree that grew in the yard where Big Dee and Stash had lived.
After dinner Dee (Wangero) went to the trunk at the foot of my bed and
started rifling through it. Maggie hung back in the kitchen over the dishpan. Out came Wangero with two quilts. They had been
pieced by Grandma Dee and then Big Dee and me had hung them on the quilt flames on the front porch and quilted them. One was
in the Lone Star pattern. The other was Walk Around the Mountain. In both of them were scraps of dresses Grandma Dee had worn
fifty and more years ago. Bits and pieces of Grandpa Jattell's Paisley shirts. And one teeny faded blue piece, about the size
of a penny matchbox, that was from Great Grandpa Ezra's uniform that he wore in the Civil War.
"Mama," Wangero said sweet as a bird. "Can I have these old quilts?"
I heard something fall in the kitchen, and a minute later the kitchen
"Why don't you take one or two of the others?" I asked. "These old things
was just done by me and Big Dee from some tops your grandma pieced before she died."
"No," said Wangero. "I don't want those. They are stitched around the
borders by machine."
"That'll make them last better," I said.
"That's not the point," said Wangero. "These are all pieces of dresses
Grandma used to wear. She did all this stitching by hand. Imagine!" She held the quilts securely in her arms, stroking them.
"Some of the pieces, like those lavender ones, come from old clothes
her mother handed down to her," I said, moving up to touch the quilts. Dee (Wangero) moved back just enough so that I couldn't
reach the quilts. They already belonged to her.
"Imagine!" she breathed again, clutching them closely to her bosom.
"The truth is," I said, "I promised to give them quilts to Maggie, for
when she marries John Thomas."
She gasped like a bee
had stung her.
"Maggie can't appreciate these quilts!" she said. "She'd probably be
backward enough to put them to everyday use."
"I reckon she would," I said. "God knows I been saving 'em for long enough
with nobody using 'em. I hope she will!" I didn't want to bring up how I had offered Dee (Wangero) a quilt when she went away
to college. Then she had told they were old-fashioned, out of style.
"But they're priceless!" she was saying now, furiously; for she has a
temper. "Maggie would put them on the bed and in five years they'd be in rags. Less than that!"
"She can always make some more," I said. "Maggie knows how to quilt."
Dee (Wangero) looked at me with hatred. "You just will not understand.
The point is these quilts, these quilts!"
"Well," I said, stumped. "What would you do with them7"
"Hang them," she said. As if that was the only thing you could do with
Maggie by now was standing in the door. I could almost hear the sound
her feet made as they scraped over each other.
"She can have them, Mama," she said, like somebody used to never winning
anything, or having anything reserved for her. "I can 'member Grandma Dee without the quilts."
I looked at her hard. She had filled her bottom lip with checkerberry
snuff and gave her face a kind of dopey, hangdog look. It was Grandma Dee and Big Dee who taught her how to quilt herself.
She stood there with her scarred hands hidden in the folds of her skirt. She looked at her sister with something like fear
but she wasn't mad at her. This was Maggie's portion. This was the way she knew God to work.
When I looked at her like that something hit me in the top of my head
and ran down to the soles of my feet. Just like when I'm in church and the spirit of God touches me and I get happy and shout.
I did something I never done before: hugged Maggie to me, then dragged her on into the room, snatched the quilts out of Miss
Wangero's hands and dumped them into Maggie's lap. Maggie just sat there on my bed with her mouth open.
"Take one or two of the others," I said to Dee.
But she turned without a word and went out to Hakim-a-barber.
"You just don't understand," she said, as Maggie and I came out to the
"What don't I understand?" I wanted to know.
"Your heritage," she said, And then she turned to Maggie, kissed her,
and said, "You ought to try to make something of yourself, too, Maggie. It's really a new day for us. But from the way you
and Mama still live you'd never know it."
She put on some sunglasses that hid everything above the tip of her nose
Maggie smiled; maybe at the sunglasses. But a real smile, not scared.
After we watched the car dust settle I asked Maggie to bring me a dip of snuff. And then the two of us sat there just enjoying,
until it was time to go in the house and go to bed.